When I graduated back in 2006 my life, I thought that from that point I would have had the world on my feet, that for some reasons, that precise moment was going to be life changing for me and that everything was going to be extraordinary.
Of course, when you are 24 years old your vision of life is filtered and you see the rest of the world through what your family and the people close to you have told you since you were little….but at one point real life comes along and teaches you some very useful lessons.
1. The sense of guilt can kill you.
We all make decisions based on what we think it is better for us, based on what we think is “good” or “bad” but when it comes to making a decision around our families, everything becomes confused.
We do have a vision of our family environment like the perfect small community where we can be ourselves with no compromises, where we are protected from the rest of the world and where nobody can hurt us.
Sometimes it is not exactly what happens and we have to take decisions that kill us inside to protect ourselves from the people we thought were going to be there for us forever and we feel so guilty that sometimes we cannot even breath from the heavy load we carry in our hearts.
That sense of guilt can kill you, let it go. Just move on and be happy.
2. No more life changing decision based on a job opportunity.
I have changed my life so many times to follow job opportunities that I cannot actually even remember how many times I moved. Was it worth it? NO. The only times that moving for a job has been actually worth it, was when I was moving back to places where I had friends.
A job can give you money, and only if it is a good one but that is pretty much it, the people that choose to become your friends, your husband, your girlfriend, the people that love you without asking for anything back, those ones are the real deal.
3. A Job is just a job.
That romantic definition of Job from the 80s, 90s where people could actually have the opportunity to start working in a place, have a career there and build up a life around that until they retired, is actually gone and dead. That insane vision of being so necessary for a work environment that our job ends up in defining us as individuals, thank God, is gone as well.
The modern market is super fast, highly competitive and even when we think we are prepared enough, or that we can make a real difference, the reality is that there is always someone more prepared or ready to do anything it takes for a 6 months contract job.
Is it worth it? NO.
Do the best you can, but keep in mind that a job is just a job, it doesn’t define the person you are and you can always find a new one.
4. Wherever I go, I will always be that introvert and weird girl from the country side.
I spent so much time to try to forget the person I was back in my hometown and trying to move on that I realised only 20 years later that if we forget where we come from, we won’t be able to understand who we want to become and what we want in life.
That introvert and weird girl from the country side is still inside me and she is the one who now reminds me every morning to be proud of my journey.
Never forget where you come from.
5. My instinct is my guidance.
They teach us to think twice before making a decision, they teach us that only animals use their instinct, that we are better than them because of our intelligence. Well, it is all a lie. Animals know how to live and how to act in different situations because of their instinct.
We always know deep inside what is the best for us: we just need to listen to ourselves.
And so, after overthinking so much for so long, I have decided to use my instinct as my guide, and I have been a much better person since.
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